Family, India

Why we returned to India!

After having lived in the US for 14 years spread across three states(Texas, New York and Michigan) I have always been asked this question “Why did you return to India?” and have always been amused by the question. Recently, one of my friend’s husband posted about it which tickled me into answering the same question in my personal blog post as well! πŸ™‚Β As he correctly noted – nobody ever asks you “Why are you going to the US?” but we are always asked the question when we are back.(why, I wonder)

While most of us vow to always return back after a few years abroad(whether US, UK or any other country) it is but difficult to say who will actually return back and who will not. There are variety of reasons for people to not return:

  1. Love the meticulous way and organized way in every facet of life(from getting the driver’s license, to get getting admission for kids in schools)
  2. No corruption at all(at least in the areas where we transact our day to day life)
  3. Perfect well laid roads and highways(we don’t see people digging up newly laid roads the very next day!!)
  4. Always think of making ‘X’ amount of money and coming back
  5. Just got used to the Western system and might find it difficult to re-adjust back to Indian system(for parents and children)
  6. Scared of living together with family at a short distance πŸ˜‰ (this is probably true for most families – most go abroad in their 20s and have no clue how family relationships work when they return in their 40s – we would rather watch the happenings from a distance!! :))
  7. Wondering how they will adjust to a new work life in the Indian sub continent
  8. There are still others, who are not able to come back because of medical conditions as they age in a foreign country
  9. When one spouse agrees to go back and the other doesn’t – it is better to stay back after all….
  10. Those who have built a good family network there(they have their brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, parents, in-laws and everybody else there – they wonder who is there in India to see?!! :))
  11. Those who are always thinking that they will return the “next year”!! πŸ™‚
  12. Those who have never thought that way at all…
  13. And finally, those who do not want to come back at all!

And I am sure there are several other reasons that I have not listed as well…

The reason we decided to return back to India:


Elaborately though, as the first year of our marriage gave way to successive years and the American life of luxury enveloped us, there was a small but certain hole that was certainly forming in our lives. It was not very evident in the initial years(we were very excited initially like everybody else πŸ™‚ – new country, new life, new customs, new traditions) Β but the hole grew by leaps and bounds as the kids started growing up.

The social life for most of us, Indians in the US is always a very narrow circle – there are a group of 10 or so families who stay tightly knit and celebrate Diwali, Thanksgiving, Christmas and so on. Β Things that we take for granted in India like stepping out and meeting your neighbours(I have written about this already?! :)) , authentic way to celebrate festivals in India was sorely missed. I missed the color and vibrancy and buzzing life of India.

There is also a slow and but sure communication gap that occurs in everyone’s life(in spite of all social media channels) when staying abroad for a prolonged period of time.

These reasons might look small as I write it but it can envelop your life as you live alone and see life in a different way. All these reasons propelled us to return to India for good!

Note: All these reasons are solely mine alone. The bottom line for those wondering whether to return or not depends on you and your circumstances alone! Stay where you are happy!! πŸ™‚


6 thoughts on “Why we returned to India!”

  1. Interesting Jayanthi. I for one have never felt the need to live abroad but I must admit that when I do visit the west on a month long vacation the convenience of ways does tend to have you thinking that I wish I lived in a more organised environment where one is assured of getting the service one pays for.
    It always worries me when folks decide to come back after a decade or more of living abroad simply because the Indian way of life is accepted more out of a habit than an actual preference 😊😊… But having said that I am very grateful for the extended circle of family members without whom life would not be this vibrant. I’m happy that you and your family has settled in. Looking forward to reading more of your thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. True Shanthini…family and extended family is what makes life in India so vibrant and beautiful! πŸ™‚ We are thankful to God for having adjusted well in India – that no one wants to go back now! πŸ˜‰


  3. Excellent post Jeyanthi ! I guess many of us who are living abroad can relate to this issue. Many of my friends and cousins have gone back home, according to their experience it seems like the transition was quite easy for those with young kids but those with older kids in middle or high school were hesitant to make the move fearing their kids will have a hard time adjusting to Indian school system unless they went to an international school. Some of my friends are still here but their children are so thrilled to attend college in India, they are happily staying with their grandparents or uncles or aunts. It depends which category we fall in which makes the move pleasant, enjoyable and stress free. I am so happy to hear that it worked out for you and your family. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Latha! πŸ™‚ Yes – those with small kids adjust better and faster but sometimes it depends on parents too. Thankfully, we didnt have to keep yo-yo ing between India and US repeatedly…interesting to note that kids born abroad are open to study in colleges in India….


  4. Well written Jayyu.. Having spent all my life in India (with short work trips to the US), I don’t consider living here a compulsion.. Its my preference too.. While working long term in US on a project away from family, something inside made me feel that I could never live there ( even with family).. I definitely love traveling and watching all the wonderful things/systems out there, but real life I can find only in India.. And I’m happy about it πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Shashi πŸ™‚ Yes true life – we can only find here… it is definitely like finding our roots – we go all around a new country trying to duplicate everything in India and then find “peace” here!! πŸ™‚


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