“Strong women aren’t simply born. They are made strong by the storms they walk through” – Anonymous
This is probably one of the most popular quotes that I have seen on the Internet long ago and it fits my mother so well!
My mother was the most softest and gentlest person on this earth. She had the longest hair and was just slim and beautiful as ever.
She and her family were the purest and purest of vegetarians and they had never even touched cakes or eggs. She always ate correctly and in perfect proportion all through her life. She was a Zoology graduate and her record books of those days were done with so much care and precision.
She was probably the only person in our house who could adapt to any place very well too. Born and raised in Tamil Nadu she became a banker’s wife and thoroughly enjoyed it. She had to move all over India and a few International destinations too and she adjusted easily. She could adapt to Hindi in Northern India, Kannada in Karnataka, Marathi in Maharashtra and more. As recently as last month and even the day before she passed away she was learning to read and write Kannada. She had almost mastered written Kannada.
She was an amazing cook and was a soft and innocent person and was quick to catch up with technology too!
Technology and my mom:
While my father was the initial person who showed all of us the technology path in our house, my mom was quick to grasp all the latest in tech. She was an expert in using Whatsapp, Google Pay and more. Though we never allowed her to use GPay on her own, she knew how it exactly worked and its pitfalls too.
I had also talked about Instagram, Facebook and Twitter to her and she knew them well though she was never on them.
Organized and structured:
My mother was the Queen of organization and structuring. Everything was done methodically in the house and she always planned ahead neatly. Groceries were brought well in advance and neatly organized. Medicines were methodically stocked. Bed spreads were neatly organized and everything was washed and cleaned on time.
Strong and Determined:
My mother was also probably the most determined person on earth. If she set her mind to doing something, she will ensure that she gets it done.
Life did not throw simple problems at her and she was forced to reckon with complicated challenges. But she was resolute and she finished all of them perfectly.
My father passed away in 2020 and she handled it very well even though I know that it must have been very, very hard for her. She was the one who gave us the strength with her quietness and resilience. And we were the ones who were visibly going through a tough time.
However all the beauty and innocence was lost in a single day suddenly.
November 14, 2022 dawned and nothing was amiss. Everything was running normally. I spoke to her in the morning(like I always do) and nothing was wrong. She was fine and had her breakfast.
Around 2:45 p.m. her physical therapist called to say that nobody was answering the door from her house. We were able to finally open the door at around 3:20 p.m. after a lot of frantic calls and tries. We saw that she had collapsed on the bed and the physical therapist immediately jumped in to give her CPR.
The physical therapist was a young lady probably in her mid to late 20s with a tremendous presence of mind and calmness. While I have been sharply critical of my father’s treatment and the doctor’s apathy when he passed away – this time, I was genuinely blown away by the kindness and sharpness of the young girl. She immediately called an ambulance with a nurse or doctor and that came in instantly. Oxygen was provided immediately in the ambulance and we rushed her to the hospital where all necessary treatment was given.
Though, nobody could save my mother, I was happy with the treatment and the sharpness and kindness of the young physical therapist and the doctors at the hospital. Hope there are more people like the young therapist who can show kindness and sensitivity in a very difficult situation!
My mother was supposed to have passed away on a very good and religious day in Karnataka. In spite of her being a very shy person and keeping to her self, all family members came to see her(no Covid excuse this time – sorry, had to take a dig ;))
All rites were done according to tradition and we laid her to rest exactly in the place where my father rests. I know she is happy with my father in heaven looking down upon us and guiding us!
Rest in peace Mummy and we will miss you forever!
Dedicated to my mother who passed away on November 14th, 2022.